The Day That Changed My Life and A Challenge

September 14, 2012 at 3:28 pm 9 comments

I remember it like it was yesterday. I was a senior in high school and was staying over with my best friend Jessica. Her and her mom had started Weight Watchers together, and she was telling me about it. It sounded pretty simple, and I knew that I could probably stand to lose a few pounds. So, she gave me all the information I needed, and I started my very first diet. I remember going home from her house and having 1/2 a cup of grapes because it was only one 1 point. After that day, my first try at losing weight was kind of a blur. I remember getting compliments from people at school after I lost some weight, but I don’t even remember the kinds of foods I was eating at the time.

After I lost weight, I stopped dieting and started eating normally again. This worked out really well until I got to college. I would eat pizza or a burger and fries almost every day for lunch. I could feel the pounds packing themselves back on, and for the next 2 and 1/2 years, I yo-yo dieted with Weight Watchers. I would lose a little weight, then gain it back, etc. In January of my Jr. year in college, I got serious with Weight Watchers. I was strict with what I ate and never allowed any indulgences. I remember having a WW muffin for breakfast, a turkey & mustard sandwich on DIET bread with exactly 14 light pringles & a 100 calorie pack of cookies for lunch, a lean cuisine for dinner, and a yoplait light yogurt for “dessert” EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I lost a ton of weight…. because I was starving myself. This led to a form of binge eating. No, I wouldn’t order large pizzas or buy a dozen doughnuts for myself. But, I would eat way past the point of feeling full and would do it in private. I didn’t want anyone to know how disgusting I was for eating so much.

So this cycle continued on for a few years. Then about a year ago, I quit WW and started using MyFitnessPal to track my calorie intake. I started cooking more and eating REAL foods instead processed junk like lean cuisines and 100 calorie packs. But, the obsession with calorie counting (point counting on WW) was still there. If there was ever a day that I didn’t count calories, then I would throw healthy eating out the window and practically gorge myself with junk. Like this was my last time to eat any bad foods. I’ve been going about healthy eating all wrong, and I feel like I’m a hypocrit for telling people that I’m just trying to eat healthy. I mean, I am just trying to eat healthy, but for some reason I feel like I can’t do it without counting calories.

A few weeks ago, Lindsay wrote about tearing down our idols. It really spoke to me, and I knew that calorie counting was a big idol in my life. Then, she posted about her experience with not exercising for 5 days. In that post, she said “if you can’t give it up, it owns you.” I immediately thought about my calorie counting. I knew that I didn’t think I could still eat healthy without it. The thought of giving that up scared me and made me think, if I did give it up, I would surely start gaining all my weight back. I realized that it did own me, and that scared me even more. Am I going to go my entire life counting every single calorie that enters my body and then binging on days that I can’t control what I eat? Ex: Holidays, parties, gatherings, etc.

So, I’ve been thinking about doing my own 5 day challenge. 5 days of absolutely NO counting calories. Not 5 days of eating what ever I want, when ever I want, because that would certainly not be healthy. 5 days of listening to my body and giving it what it needs. Whether it be more fruits and veggies, an extra serving of chicken at dinner, or a cookie for dessert. I’m going to be honest, the thought of doing this scares the crap out of me. But I know that I have to. I have to prove to myself that calorie counting does not control me. I can eat healthy without it!

So I’m asking for prayers people! I know many of you reading don’t understand why this is so hard for me, but I hope there are people out there that do. No, I’ve never been diagnosed with any kind of eating disorder, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t struggle with many of the same symptoms.

I’m going to try to start the “official” 5 day challenge on Monday and end on Friday. I’ll hopefully be able to do a full recap over the weekend of my experience.

Sorry for such a wordy post, but thank you to every single one of you who read! I appreciate it so much. Have a wonderful weekend! 🙂

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Entry filed under: Diet and Exercise, Helpful, Life. Tags: , , .

Thursday Thoughts MIIM {A Distance Record}

9 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Alex @ therunwithin  |  September 14, 2012 at 3:36 pm

    DO IT. My struggles were never on the calorie counting, I have never have and never will but I can relate to the experience of food distress. As I talk about on my blog I suffered from anorexia and binge eating. Both brought different kind but real pain. i will be rooting for you each day of this challenge and commend you on taking this step. So freaking proud of you.

    Reply
    • 2. gkennington  |  September 14, 2012 at 4:35 pm

      Thanks! I’m so nervous, but I know that I NEED to do this!

      Reply
  • 3. MIIM {A Distance Record} | Eat, Sweat, Sing  |  September 17, 2012 at 7:45 pm

    […] I officially started the challenge. Five days of not counting any calories. I’ll still be eating healthy, but I’m to […]

    Reply
  • 4. Too Fast | Eat, Sweat, Sing  |  September 18, 2012 at 8:36 pm

    […] friends, so the challenge is going great so far! I feel like I have so much freedom. Why didn’t I do this earlier?? I […]

    Reply
  • 5. Thursday Thoughts | Eat, Sweat, Sing  |  September 20, 2012 at 6:20 pm

    […] I’m pretty much rocking the challenge! I’m still making healthy choices, but I’m not worried about having extra food if […]

    Reply
  • 6. Life Happens | Eat, Sweat, Sing  |  September 25, 2012 at 5:41 pm

    […] I meant to blog on Saturday and recap my thoughts on the challenge. […]

    Reply
  • 7. Thursday Thoughts {On The Challenge} | Eat, Sweat, Sing  |  September 27, 2012 at 6:04 pm

    […] right into my Thursday Thoughts for the day. Today’s thoughts are all about my most recent challenge. I decided to try to overcome my calorie counting problem and go 5 days with absolutely NO […]

    Reply
  • […] It may be a little surprising since I went on and on about how I loved not counting when I did The Challenge, but I have my own personal reasons for why I’m doing this(pants are tight, not comfortable […]

    Reply
  • 9. What I Want When I Want | Eat, Sweat, Sing  |  August 30, 2013 at 5:39 pm

    […] as food, I know that I need to stop counting calories again. I did this about a year ago with a week-long challenge that ended up lasting almost a year.  Then over the summer, I gained some weight because of […]

    Reply

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Hello, I'm Grace! I'm a 24 year old living in a small town in Alabama. I'm married and have the most amazing job teaching music to elementary students. I blog about healthy eating, exercising, running, and the random things that happen in my life. I've recently completed my second half marathon and can't wait to pursue that 26.2!

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