I actually meant to post this earlier, but forgot. Sorry!
I’m still over here working on this whole “no more diet” thing, but I’m still struggling. There are times when I feel good about what I’m doing, but a lot of times I get discouraged and feel like I’m just making things worse by eating what ever I want. I wake up every morning feeling bigger and bigger. So yeah, it’s a struggle. I’m just trying to give all my worries and anxiety over to God because I know He loves me enough to take it all. (By the way, how freaking awesome is that??)
I’m so used to being an “all or nothing” person, that it’s hard for me to find balance in being healthy and not dieting. If I’m eating healthy, then motivating myself to exercise isn’t as hard. I’m working towards a goal, and all of these things will help me reach that goal.
If I’m not eating healthy (ex. on vacation), then I don’t care if I exercise at all because I’ll start back to being healthy (and exercising) tomorrow, or next week. That’s been my mindset for the last 5 years, so it’s hard to break that mentality.
It’s also really hard to shake the guilt I feel after eating things that aren’t healthy. I usually wont feel this guilt until the morning (or a few hours after I eat), but when it does hit, it hits me hard. I hate that feeling, and poor Chad had to deal with me busting into tears the other morning because I just didn’t feel good about myself. He really is the best for dealing with me, and he knows how to make me feel better. I thank God for putting us together.
Wow. I have got to stop being so depressing on the blog. I’m usually not the kind of person to constantly write about her feelings, but today and the past few weeks, it was needed. Thanks for reading and for your encouraging words, both on the blog and in person. I just wanted to be completely honest about all of this. I would hate to act like everything was going fine when, in reality, it’s not. But that’s life, and I’ll get through it because I have awesome people surrounding me and supporting me along the way. Chad is definitely my #1 supporter.
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